A couple of days ago, I was driving in to work when a song came on the radio that got me thinking. Normally, that’s not a good thing.

For some strange reason, the song reminded me of something from the past.

A few years ago, my wife was pregnant with our third child and we were preparing ourselves for what life would be like with five in the house instead of four.

That moment never came, as we lost the baby the day after Christmas in 2009.

It’s hard to believe that this summer, we’d be celebrating a third birthday. The thought brings a tear to my eye and brings back all that pain I felt back then.

I try to be a firm believer that God has a plan for all of us. I try to believe that even if you don’t agree with the plan that it is His plan and it’s the best plan for you.

Oddly enough, being the Disney freak that I am, my thoughts started to turn to Disney. What would it be like to bring another child to Disney?

What would it be like if it were a Princess, instead of a Pirate? What would it be like to have to always look for a room with an occupancy of five instead of four?

Then I started to think, would we even be able to go to Disney as much as we have? Five mouths are tougher to feed than four. Would we even be in Pensacola right now?

You know, it’s amazing that life changes, even when it really doesn’t. We were bracing for a change three and a half years ago, and it never did.

Or did it? Did our lives change? Of course they did, because that’s all part of the plan. The highs, the lows, the peaks, the valleys, it’s all part of a plan.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about what it would be like to have that fifth wheel in the house.

Would she provide the counterbalance to Kaleb and Logan’s constant nipping at each other? Or would he just go with the flow and turn the tag-team into a three-man tag team rivaling the Fabulous Freebirds?

Would she have been a Princess? Would she get all dolled up and put on an Ariel dress to go to Disney World? It’s funny because I never met our child, never knew anything about her/him. And yet when I picture her, she’s a redhead. Maybe that’s wishful thinking.

The reality, I guess, is that I’ll never know. We’ll never know.

But I do know one thing, something that has taken me three-plus years to fully realize. Our lives did change that day.

We became a stronger family. We learned to love harder and deeper. We learned to cherish every single moment.

Life can change in an instant, even when you didn’t realize it did.

 

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